Managing your Guilt

Scripture I'm Reflecting On:
     "How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart?
          Cleanse me from these hidden faults"

Reflection:
Do you ever wonder if something you just did was a "sin".  Or maybe just wrong, or not pleasing to God.  I do this all the time.  Most of the time its something little that I never even thought about at the time I did it.  Getting frustrated driving in rush hour.  Doing something subtle to avoid someone or some situation.  Laughing at questionably immoral humor.  Engaging in certain conversations.  I often find myself reflecting after the fact, and feeling guilty about something I've done and wondering if it was displeasing to God.

As David reflects in this verse, we all have hidden faults, which is probably a reason we cannot live a life completely free of sin, no matter how hard we try.  No matter how pure we set out to be, none of us can ever claim we have never had a selfish thought, admired someone we found attractive, skipped an opportunity to thank or worship God, or given an uninspired effort in performing a task.  Acknowledging these moments, and even feeling a little guilt, I think is a good thing, as it keeps us turning to God and keeping a close relationship.  But letting guilt take over our minds if the work of the enemy, and will only pull us away from God.

If there's one thing to take away from the Bible, its how amazing and forgiving God is towards our fautls.  Don't lose faith in that.  God forgives all of our faults, from the smallest bad attitude moment, to the seemingly unforgiveable sin, as long as we turn to him and ask for this.  It's easy to skip a prayer time because you think God is mad with you, or doesnt want to hear from you after something you did.  I've had this thought on more than one occasion.  But this is line of thinking is not written anywhere in the Bible, and there is no reason to even consider that is a possibility.  "We are the apples of God's eyes", and as long as we lift our sins up to him, He will continue to forgive and bless our faults and shortcomings.

At my lowest spiritual point, I remember telling God something along the lines of "if youre even up there, stay out of my life as you certainly arent doing me any favors."  And that is a rated G version.  It took me a long.....long................long time, even after restoring my faith to where it is now, to realize and understand that God would forgive me as long as I asked and believes, even after such a horrible comment.  Just as nothing is too big for God to accomplish, equally so, there is nothing too big for God to forgive.

Final Thought:
I am someone who over-analyzes everything, and will find something to be guilty about even when nothing is there.  This is particularly true when hanging out with those I care about, I  have a tendency to always think I did something wrong.  Did I end the conversation correctly?  Was that joke in bad taste (or maybe just dumb)?  Was I friendly?  Should I have offered to buy a coffee?  These mostly irrational "guilty" questions I have occasionly creep their way into my prayer life as well, and when they do, I find myself pulled away from reading the Bible and engulfed with worry.

The Bible has always been my answer to these problems, and can be your answer if you find yourself feeling guilty, or wondering if you displeased God.  Without fail, everytime I have truly and fully given my worry to the Lord, things have worked out for the best.  I  have no doubt, that when we do this, the result will always be the same.